A Happy Idiot

Oh, Jackson Browne, you really do tell it like it is. I think of all the facets that make up a year in JVC, the one that stands out most to non-JVers is the fact that we volunteer to live simply, and more specifically, to respectfully refrain from taking a real-live, grown-up salary. I know as well as anyone that money makes the world turn, and by owning “things,” we feel more important within society. So when people find out that I chose as my first full-time job a volunteer position, the questions that inevitably follow are: Why don’t you want to get paid? How do you live on $85 a month?

Well my friend, it’s not that I don’t want to get paid…I do. I like money. It’s nice. It lets me buy food and helps fix my bike and grants me access to places. But as I’ve been learning during my first month at work, it isn’t the be-all end-all of motivation techniques for me.

Last week I may have worked harder for a different reason than I have in any of my previous places of employment (don’t tell Friendly’s that…On second thought, tell them. They don’t control me anymore). There I was, rushing around all week, moving tables, taping floors, singing to kids, making sure all the sisters were happy; all things to make sure the banquet went smoothly. It was good work and it was tiring, and as I stepped back for a second to take stock of where I was (and to let a guy pushing a piano past), I realized I am not working hard in the hope that I will gain any type of personal reward. Rather, I am hustling because in the short amount of time that I have been working at St. Frances, I have come to like it there, and I wanted the sisters to have the best night possible, because they deserved it.

That got me thinking about motivation, about what drives both me and society in general. At all my previous jobs, when the work got tough and stressful, I would always remind myself that a paycheck would be waiting at the end to make it all worth it. Last week, and really throughout the entire time I’ve been here, the concept of striving for money has been virtually non-existent. I realized that the driving force behind me pouring Sunny-D for 30 kids, behind me arranging and rearranging 35 tables for a dinner for nuns, behind me waking up every morning to go to a job that doesn’t pay me above a hundred bucks a month, isn’t, as Jackson Browne so lyrically called, the “struggle for the legal tender.” I go to work, and work hard, because- and get this- I want to. I like my job, I like my boss, and I see this whole thing as something I can get behind. A pretty novel thing, huh?

I've learned that there's something great that is motivating me to be here in Baltimore, and though I can't quite name it, it sure as heck ain't cash.

I’m not here to denounce money and swear that I shall never pursue its greenish hue. I know a lot of people who are doing worthwhile work for a lot of money, and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. Money allows you to do many wonderful things. I worry, though, that for much of this world, the dollar has become the end rather than the means. But there is hope for all of Browne’s “Pretenders” out there. If you find yourself living in “a house in the shade of the freeway,” where the neighborhood kids “solemnly wait for the ice cream vendor,” have no fear. Just find something that turns you on, that energizes and inspires you. Find something you love and pursue it. Either that, or join JVC.

I want to know what became of the changes
We waited for love to bring.
Were they only the fitful dreams
Of some greater awakening?
I've been aware of the time going by.
They say in the end it's the wink of an eye.
And when the morning light comes streaming in
You'll get up and do it again.

~ Jackson Browne, "The Pretender"