Random Job Perk

Random Job Perk: I still get to have recess and throw perfect spirals across the gym to a gaggle of 5-7th graders. I mean, these throws are GOOD. You should really see me lead my receivers across the gym floor, working fish hooks and post patterns, threading the needle right at that crucial moment before they are about to fall out of bounds. It’s like the old days on the playground of Olivet Elementary School; I hang around the periphery, hoping against hope that the kids will ask me to play.

Only this time, I’m 22 years old.

With college loans.

Still, the boys (literally, I’m older than these kids by at least 10 years- don’t they realize I can run faster and throw farther than anyone in the gym? Come on, I’m an asset to any team!) ask me to be all-time quarterback occasionally (the term “all-time” simply means I’m QB for both teams, but I like to think it refers to how long I’ll be the greatest). The teams are evenly matched, the game is tightly contested, and when Sister Gabriel says it’s time to line up, my first thought is Come on! 5 more minutes! Still, even if the boys will go home and tell their friends about how Mr. Scott tried to get them to run a fake end-around with three laterals that would net about 2 yards when really he should have just handed it off to Kamari and used that big 22-yr. old body of his to throw a block once in a while, I get to walk out of the gym, head held high, throwing high-fives to students I’ve never met, with the strict belief that I just quarterbacked my team to the biggest win in After-School Program history (if you’re following along, you might notice that since I am quarterback for both teams, I am guaranteed to win every game. Why do you think this is a called a random job perk?).



Oh, to recapture the joy of believing that I am the next Randall Cunningham, or at least Koy Detmer (even if he did have a better beard).



And I’m sure the kids have fun too.